“More vivid than indigo
The big blue sky
Opens right up
With White roses adorning everywhere
Like wallpaper, going on forever.”
We sang along and picked weed that day too. Aimi chan and me. Aimi chan was my best friend, and the only one who encouraged me to write more, after Okaasan (mother). Aimi chan and I had been friends since kindergarten, and we were so close that if I planned on becoming a writer she’d become a poet. We even loved only one thing the most - sitting under cherry blossoms during sunsets. Every spring, we would sit under cherry blossoms for hours until we’d be dragged away by our mothers for dinner. Aimi chan and I also shared a dream, we wished to one day be free. Free of the terrors we had witnessed, free of violence, free of war.
Butterflies were fluttering as if they were dancing along to the song we sang and the air smelled like spring.
“Sakura chan, how does it feel like getting wed off in a far-away place?” Aimi spoke softly, weak with her Kyoto accent already.
“Well, I get homesick a lot. But meeting new people and making new friends is- it’s great.”
“Oh, that’s nice.” Aimi said with an anxious look.
“Hey, Aimi chan, it’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“Really?”
“Yes! Of course! I’ll visit you as frequently as I can so it’ll be fun for sure, and your soon-to-be husband seems like a great person…”
“Oh you!”
“Heh heh, don’t be shy now!”
The sudden air raid siren silenced us. We figured we didn’t have time to run to a bomb shelter so there we were stuck in the middle of a step farm during an air raid.
“Get under cover!” I screamed. We crouched down and desperately looked for cover, but maybe we were too late. Cannonballs were fired from above us to the other side of the island. Those balls of dread burst into gray clouds and even in that terrifying moment, it felt utterly poetic. The gray bursts of clouds made it feel like a rainy day on a spring afternoon, the shrapnel was flying like shooting stars- it was beautiful. But then I bit my tongue to bring me back to our reality. It had gotten more dangerous by the time I did so, a lot of shrapnel was flying off from several directions and it had gotten rather hazy around us. Soon after, everything went black.
“All clear! Alll clear!” The screams of the officers rang in my ears as I regained consciousness.
“A-Aimi Chan?”
“Sakura chan!!!”
We were alive, and grateful. I held Aimi chan’s hand and we ran as fast as I could to the village bomb shelter. One air raid wasn’t enough for a day. Our way was beset by pits, shrapnel and injured people. Around one of the pits, Aimi chan lost the vigor to go on. I lost it too, but one of us had to get up.
“Aimi chan, don’t give up! Please don’t give up! We’re almost there!” I said.
“I can’t. Leave me and go. Sakura chan, leave me and go!”
“No! Never!”
I held her hand tight and almost dragged her along as I sprinted towards life. My heart was pounding hard and covering all the other noises, I could almost feel nothing anymore but I couldn’t stop. I pictured the map of our village, and according to that we were getting closer to the bomb shelter, step by step. Getting closer to living, step by step. And then, I saw it. I saw our house, a tiny dot far-away. Each step I took I got closer to it, but it still seemed far away. And then, I saw sparks. Sparks in a dark void. Where was I?
“Sakura?” someone startled me. I was on a futon, covered in bandages. My head was still spinning but my heart wasn’t pounding so loudly anymore.
“Okaasan?”
“Sakura!” she hugged me, “You’re okay! Good heavens, I was so scared.”
“Okaasan, w-where is Aimi chan?”
Silence was my answer.
“Where is Aimi chan? Okaasan, where is she?!”
“Sakura, don’t strain yourself!”
“Okaasan-” I ended up crying.
If only I had not been so distracted; if only I hadn’t wasted so much time; if only I had held her with the other hand; if only I had realized that bombs in pits meant more danger than other weapons, I wouldn’t have spent this spring alone, witnessing the impermanence of the falling cherry blossoms.